Religious Humor

Three pastors were having lunch in a diner. One said "You know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything; noise, spray, cats, and nothing seems to scare them away. " Another said "Me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the narthex attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away. " The third said, " I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church. Haven't seen one
back since!"

Non-Religious Humor

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the check-out line, but she got in front of him. Pardon me," she said, " I am sorry if my starring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who I haven't seen in a long time. " That's a shame," replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?" "Yes. "she said, " As I'm leaving, can you say 'Goodbye Mother! It would make me feel so much better." "Sure," answered the young man. So, when the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Googbye, Mother!" As he stepped up to the check-out counter, he saw that his total was $127.50. "How can this be?" "he asked, " "I only purchased a few things!" The clerk
replied, "Your mother said that you would pay for her."